I’m just going to sit back…
…and let God do His thing. (Part 1)
That has been my mindset (and still is) for a very long time when it came to everything in my life, especially dating. I am currently in a happy and successful relationship but y’all, it wasn’t easy getting here…
I’m just going to put it like this, my dating phase was ghetto! 0 out of 5 stars. I did not enjoy dating at all. From getting to know a person, to going on dates, to realizing me and this person weren’t going to work out, to not talking to them anymore, to then meeting someone new and repeating the same cycle over and over again. The entire process was so exhausting and discouraging. I was on dating apps, meeting people in public settings…y’all I was even letting some of my friends hook me up with some people they knew, which is something I always said I would NEVER do! There were times when I felt like I was the one doing the most pursuing! And there were even times when I thought things were going pretty well with the person I was dating…then BOOM! Ghosted! I was ghosted many times during my dating phase. Now I will admit, I did a lot of ghosting early on but I got better! I eventually developed the courage to tell the person I was dating I was no longer interested and it wasn’t going to work out. Looking back on those experiences, I am convinced that was God protecting me and telling me “No, he’s not the one.”
Dating was hard and many times it killed my self-esteem, which is something I’ve never had an issue with. I even went through a phase where I didn’t want to date or get to know anyone because it was too much work. I was over it!
Years ago, I made a list of what I wanted in my future partner in all aspects-mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I wasn’t going to date anyone younger than me. I didn’t care if the person was 1 year younger than me, I wasn’t going to give them the time of day! I’ve dated guys younger and older than me and I eventually learned that age didn’t matter. I quickly learned that an older guy can be just as immature as a younger guy and vice versa, so age shouldn’t matter. And if they weren’t brown skinned with the “deep waves” I wasn’t even looking their way! Honestly yall, I think I was too caught up in the whole “light-skined guys are full of themselves and self-centered,” which is totally NOT true. I’ve dated some brown and dark skinned guys who were arrogant and cocky-so NOT attractive. And spinning the block?! You know, if we dated in the past? You could not spin the block on me, and I wasn’t spinning the block on you! My mindset behind that was “if we dated in the past and it didn’t work what makes you think it'll work out now?” I was something else. And many times, I even thought to myself “Am I being realistic with this list?” Obviously NOT!
It was the moment I threw in the towel and said “God, ima just let you do Your thing because this ain’t it!” It was that moment I surrendered and put my trust in God.
A month later, a younger guy DM’d me and asked me on a date….and guess what y’all, he was light-skinned…
To be continued…