Marriage, a house, and kids by 30…

let’s all laugh together.

When I was a little girl, I always dreamt of having this “fairy tale” wedding and marrying “my prince.”  I dreamt of having a family and living in a big house with a white picket fence and a front porch.  Yall, obviously I didn’t know anything about marriage or a family or even having a house at that age.  I just wanted all the things I thought women were supposed to have.  That’s all I saw on TV, that’s all I listened to on the radio, and that’s all I saw at home.  I just knew that having those 3 things in life would complete me and honestly looking back on that and the fact that I felt that way at such a young age is so crazy to me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my parents didn’t raise me that way.  They raised me to be independent, make sure I have my own, to not depend on a man for anything, and to get my education.  But seeing them work together as a team-watching how they handled conflict, how they held it down at the crib, how they made sure everything ran smoothly in the home and outside the home-seeing that made me want that when I got older.  And I just knew I was going to get all of that by the time I turned 30…now let’s all laugh together.

Growing up, I made sure I had a plan for how my life was going to turn out.  After I graduated from high school I was going to go straight to college and get my bachelor’s degree in 4 years.  Right after college I was going to start working in my career making good money.  Then I was going to find the love of my life in the grocery store.  (No, seriously in my head we were going to somehow bump into each other, and it was going to be love at first sight.)  Then we were going date for about 2 years, and I would have this extravagant proposal and wedding.  Then we were going to buy some land and get our house built from the ground up.  Then we were going to start making some babies, 2-3 max. 

Are y’all laughing yet?  Well, I am. Lol.  Y’all I was living in some sort of fantasy world!

Now here’s how it really happened. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I did cross some of those things off the list, but the plan did not go how I thought it would.  I got my bachelor’s degree in 5 years.  Right after college I worked in my career field.  I had my twin boys 2 years after I graduated from college.  And no, I am not married, nor do I have a house.

Life is so funny.  You make these plans, and you expect your plans to go the way you envision it.  While I made those plans for myself and my life, I never asked myself what if my plan doesn’t go as planned?  What then? 

I never thought I’d be a single mother raising 2 boys, still living in my parents’ house, not married…but you know what?  I am the happiest I have ever been!  Yes, I am single mother, but I have a village, and I love my village, and I thank God for my village.  Yes, I live with my mom by choice.  And no, I am not married…yet (manifesting it, claiming it) but I am in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in…and guess what.  I am celebrating my 32nd birthday today!

Whenever I get frustrated at how my life is going, I always think about and recite my favorite bible verse-Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  This life that we live, this is all God’s doing and His plan and if we are obedient, He will make sure we live a wonderful and blessed life.

So again, let’s all laugh together.  I’m still laughing.  I’m also smiling and constantly looking up and thanking God for the beautiful life He has given me despite how I thought it should have gone. 

Oh, by the way, “Happy Birthday to me!”